Growing in Faith & Family

My kiddos are amazing, sweet, and brilliant individuals. They are each going to do amazing things and I can’t wait (yes I can, don’t grow up) to see what that is. That said, some of our kiddos have special needs that we are working hard to help them overcome.

We often receive a lot of unsolicited advice and have been on the receiving end of lots of hateful stares in public. It’s really hard on my mommy heart to see my kid excluded from activities and play dates for his behavior that is out of his control, even though I also totally understand it and also keep other kids who act the same way away from my kids

It’s hard to see your kids struggle, it’s hard to feel excluded and isolated, it’s hard to know that despite your best effort in educating folks you are still judged and viewed as failing parents.

What I will say is that we LOVE our kids. We pray for them, teach them about the Lord, research, learn, seek counsel, practice consistent discipline techniques and will do anything we can to help them succeed.

It’s been three years since I last blogged about our family and in that time our sweet Zeb is now on his third birthday. To catch up, I’m going to start back at his birth and tell the story of just him. At a later time I may go back and add in details from the rest of those missing years, but not today.

Recap: we had been on hold with an adoption from Ethiopia for 11 months due to the adoption of Abijah.

meeting and holding Abijah for the first time

We struggled for a while with the decision on whether to continue with Ethiopia after Abijah for many reasons, but ultimately felt that despite our concerns, we had not received word from God yet that that door was closed. We began the process of preparing our home and updating our adoption paperwork because we knew that once we came off hold we could literally receive a call any day since we were so far into the process. We were in our final steps of the process and our social worker was at our house finishing up our paperwork. At the end of the meeting, she told us that she had a mother who was due in two weeks and all 10 of her current families had told her “no” to this baby. She asked us to prayerfully consider this boy since she was out of options for placement for him. I immediately said, “yes, he’s ours!” Warren still says that while he too would have said “yes”, he would have at least like me to look at him or at least ask his opinion first 🙂

At this point, we put Ethiopia on hold…again, and began preparing for this little boy who would arrive in less than two weeks. We were given all the information on Zeb’s bio family that we were allowed to receive, and felt vast amounts of peace with the many unknowns, beginning the mental process of bonding with a baby who had yet to arrive.

Just before he was born, Warren and I took a trip with Abijah to Dollywood. We spent so much one-on-one time with him, made memories staying in a hotel, and just really enjoyed what would be his last few days as an only child.

When we got home, butterflies began to kick in: all the “what if” questions began to weigh heavy, and the reality of our decision was setting in. Still no regrets – just a hard concept to wrap around when you don’t have several months of them growing in your belly or even a countdown to referral/arrival since we only had less than two weeks.

The morning of his birth (a scheduled c-section), we arrived at the hospital and eagerly waited. Once the c-section was underway, the hospital social worker came to get us and gave us the rundown on what would happen once he was born, gave us a tour, and told us to continue to wait in the waiting room until he was born and ready to meet us. Then we would be assigned a room, and we – as his parents – would stay with him in the hospital.

We waited and waited and waited. I had a gut feeling that something was off, but I didn’t realize how bad it was until the hospital social worker reappeared looking grim. She told us that he aspirated meconium and was very sick. She told us that they were working on him, and that they would come get us when he was stable in the NICU.

A short time later she came to get us and we were standing in the hallway as they were walking him over to NICU. They placed him in my arms, and I got to hold him for a few minutes while they gave us part of the details of what occurs. I did not know at the time that his latest APGAR was only a 1! A final APGAR of 1 – and they were leisurely walking him to NICU and stopped to let us meet him!!!!

holding Zeb for the 1st time

Looking back, I’m absolutely livid at many of the decisions made that day and his lack of care. I can’t – and won’t – go into all of the medical neglect that occurred prior to him being transferred to UK on this blog.

After they took Zeb away, I began to lose it in the hallway. In the instant that I saw him and held him, he was 100% my boy. It was no different than if I had given birth, the connection was that intense! A few moments later I noticed that both the hospital social worker and our adoption social worker both came to stand in front of Warren and me as if to block our view. It was because they were wheeling the birth mother down the hall and, as per her wishes, she did not want to see us at that time.

In the NICU they tried giving him oxygen, formula, and a few other things but nothing was working.

There are many Big, “ah ha, that was God” moments in our stories of how our children came into our family, and the next big one for us was a special nurse in the NICU that day. She had been my Bible study leader for a while. When she noticed me standing at the window staring at my baby crying, she came to me. I quickly filled her in on how the adoption was going and she filled me in on just how sick he really was: much more than we had been led to believe. She stood with us in that hallway and prayed for us and our sweet boy. It was very quick after she walked back in that we were informed that they were going to transfer him to the UK children’s hospital for more intensive care. I am convinced that the prayers of this woman and her desire to help this child is a big reason that he was transferred to receive the care he needed.

waiting to be transferred

It’s important to note here that at this time, we were not Zeb’s legal anything. By law, hospital staff had to receive permission from the social workers for all treatment and his bio mom even had to sign for him to be released for transfer. A birth mother cannot legally relinquish her rights after birth for a period of time to ensure she is making the decision on her own will.

Once we arrived at UK we were met again with more bad news, and our faith was taking an arsenal-full assault. Our sweet tiny baby was laying on an ice-cold blanket, shivering, alone, with two IVs (one in a hand, and one in a foot), a line running into his umbilical stump, and a suction tube down his throat. His head was covered in tons of wires from all the probes of the machine measuring his seizures, and it was absolutely one of the hardest things I have ever witnessed in my life!

I wanted nothing more than to pick him up, get him warm and let him know that Mommy was there and that I would protect him! I’m still not sure how I made it through those first few days! The reason he was on an ice blanket is that during birth, he had lost blood and oxygen to the brain, an event known as Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy – or HIE. His brain had received serious damage due to the HIE, he was in liver failure, and was having uncontrolled seizures. The ice blanket worked to slow his blood flow. The majority of damage doesn’t just occur at the point of injury, sometimes the biggest injury occurs as a result of swelling and the rushing of blood to the area. So because they knew that the HIE already cause initial brain injury, they were hoping to prevent further injury by keeping the brain for swelling as a result of the injury. Again, if you have any medical background, the fact that that much oxygen was lost for that long of a time, meconium was aspirated, three APGARS of a 1 and formula given to a newborn exhibiting uncontrolled seizures should be waving massive red flags.

When we got home that night, I went to my room, looked at the pack-n-play I had set up waiting on him with all his new things and just cried.

The next day our adoption social worker sat us down and asked if we planned to proceed with the adoption. It was a hard conversation, but there was never any doubt that he was ours and we planned to be there for him. We signed the last of our paperwork, as did bio mom and we became his legal guardians. In terms of the law, it essentially made us his foster parents until our court date which made it all final – but in practicality, he was ours. Now the nurses and doctors began opening up more to us and we began to research and pray and hope.

After three days on the cooling blanket, it was time to start warming him up and seeing how he would react. To this time, he had not been held at all, or even been fed. Furthermore, once rewarming started, it had to be completed, even if adverse reactions occurred like increased seizure activity, heart problems, etc.

Rewarming takes a minimum of 12 hours to complete.

It was such a scary time, but also a time of hope and anticipation. I knew that if he handled rewarming well, I would get to hold him soon!!

Once he was warmed I was finally able to hold him and it was just what we both needed! For a brief moment, all worry and fear slipped away and were bliss as a new mommy and her newborn son.

The next few days were all a blur. We spoke to many doctors about his seizures, the extent of his brain damage, being told lots of “if he lives then he will never….” I was forced out of the room numerous times watching through the window as teams rush in to save my boy after he would code. Refusing to leave his bedside in fear I may never see him again, or that he would stop breathing again and he would be alone.

Finally, one day, his primary nurse said, “hey, do you want to take him home?” I didn’t think we were anywhere near ready to go. I didn’t feel he was physically strong enough and I didn’t think I was emotionally strong enough. She gave me a giant hug and told me that we both needed to be home. She said he was a strong little boy, and that we would both heal better at home. For weeks I feel like I didn’t sleep because I watched his chest all night, making sure he took every breath and that he was ok.

We spent a large part of his first year in different therapies to help him overcome most of his challenges. We received PT twice a week for months and later we also saw speech therapy. Zeb is such a fighter and an amazing little boy! I am so proud to be his mom!

When Zeb was six weeks old, we received yet another Big Surprise. We found out that we were pregnant. After years of being told that I could never conceive and carry full term, I was shocked to discover we were going to have another baby!!! With all of Zeb’s therapies, an active older toddler brother (Abijah) at home, and all my complications in pregnancy with was a really rough first year…..no wonder I stopped blogging 😉

Zeb became a big brother at 11 months old, and he and Selah have been inseparable. As exhausting as having three kids in the span of 25 months is, I would not change a thing!

Today, we celebrate our sweet Zeb’s 3rd Birthday. Zebediah means : Yahweh has bestowed; A gift from God.

We chose his name long before we knew our Zeb, but it is such a fitting name, as he truly is one of God’s greatest gifts to our family

newborn nap with daddy

Zeb’s 1st B-Day

Zeb’s 2nd B-Day

Dear Friends and Family

As most of you know, we have been in process for an adoption from Ethiopia for over 3 years!!! Last May we received a surprise call about the most precious 3.5-month-old baby boy who just a few short weeks later became our son. This caused our family to go “on hold” with our agency for Ethiopia.

We are still on hold, as during that time of both mandatory waiting and our extension, some of our paperwork expired and needed updating. We have been frantically working to get this completed as quickly as possible. Partly because we are so very close to the top of the list – like could-receive-a-referral-at-any-point after our paperwork was complete.

That brings us to just a few days ago. The last steps in our update included our social worker visiting our home for a safety check and for us to complete the last of our training. That home visit occurred on Thursday, April 16 and we were leaving that evening for GA to complete the last of our training for international adoption. However, our social worker dropped a bomb during that meeting. (Important to note that we work with multiple agencies – this agency facilitates domestic adoptions and provides home studies for international adoptions that are sent to other agencies)

Near the end of our meeting, she said that she very recently had a birth mom come in and was in urgent need for a family. None of her current waiting families were a match for – or wanted – this particular baby. So, knowing our desires and parameters, she asked us to prayerfully consider the possibility of welcoming this baby into our family.

Perhaps it’s the fierce protector, or Mama bear instinct in me, but I just answered “yes” right away. Warren, being more calm and rational said that we would pray about it but would “likely” consider the possibility ☺

We dropped Abijah off at Mammie and Papaw’s house that evening, and began our drive south. For that whole 6 hours, that whole weekend, and the long drive back, we talked, we prayed, we cried, we rejoiced, we played “what if” (both good and bad), and we prayed some more, we argued, we agreed, and prayed some more. At the same time, we were soaking in this intense training and learning all kinds of scary-but-helpful things.

On Monday we called our agency. We went in the next day, Tuesday the 21st, to learn what little there was to know about the situation and we signed our paperwork stating our intent to pursue the adoption of this baby.

What does this mean?

This is NOT a guarantee that we will get this little boy. At any point, up until something like 30 days after birth, the Mom can change her mind. Also, we don’t know anything about birth dad who also has 90 days to step in and take custody. We literally know nothing about any of that. All we know is that as of right now, the decision has been made for adoption and if it follows though we will be his family.

As for Ethiopia, we are going to continue the last few steps to get our paperwork up-to-date and ready (including immigration fingerprints in OH this week). The last we knew, we are able to stay on hold up to two years and we are at about month 11 now.

“If”, big if, we are ready to pursue an adoption from Ethiopia at the end of that waiting, we will be paperwork ready to do so. “If” this domestic adoption falls-through, then we will still be on track for international adoption.

We are really just trying to discern God’s will, and be open to His guidance and direction. It really would be easier if He just put a flashing neon sign in front of me with the right answer, but alas, that’s not typically the way it works 😉

Whatever happens, I can already say that God has taught me so much in this process (this is a whole blog post in itself). I don’t regret a single step in our journey. If either the domestic, international, or both doors close to us, that would be so difficult but I can honestly say that I do not question our calling, and I will praise God for all He has done because I know there is a purpose and He has a plan.

I’m super nervous about this addition to our family as I will be a Mama to two under 15 months old! And, to be honest, I am grieving my one on one time with my sweet Abijah. I know that if this is the path God has for us that it’s going to be good and our story will be amazing. But, I also know that because our story is not yet finished, we have yet to experience all the twists and turns that make it great!

Please pray for the birth mom over this next couple of weeks and all that she may be going through/facing. Again, we know nothing about her, or what brought her to this decision, so I can only imagine what she is going through.

Pray for us and for our hearts. We’ve had such a short amount of time to process this and make a decision, and I know this is going to be a huge adjustment for our whole family. Also, please pray for our finances. Adoption is incredibly expensive, and with such short notice we are not really prepared. God is already showing us ways that He will provide, but we could really use some peace in this area.

Finally, pray for Zebediah, that he will be protected and have a healthy and safe birth on May 5th!

With much love,
The Myers

The beginning of 2015 has been a very busy and exciting time for the Myers crew.

In January, Warren and I bought our first house! God provided in an amazing way, it was a major blessing for us and we now have space to grow our family again.

Last month our little guy turned one! Boy time sure does fly! I can not believe how big he is getting and how much he changes everyday. Abijah is a wonderful blessing and a joy in our lives.

That brings us to March! It’s only just begun but already we have been busy chatting with our agencies and getting paperwork together. Yes, we are getting things ready so that within the next few months we can become active on the waiting list again!

Since last June, we have been considered “on hold” with our agency. That means that we would continue to move up the waiting list as normal, but should that be possibly be number one before we become active again, then people would move around us. Our agency requires that after an addition to your family you be on hold for a minimum of 6 months – which would have been December for us -but we really wanted to wait until Abijah turned 1.

In this time of being on hold a lot of our paperwork has expired and our home study has to be redone to add our new house and Abijah. The process of updating our home study will likely take until the end of April. After our home study is complete, we will begin getting the last of our documents for our dossier update (that is the huge packet that is sent to Ethiopia).

It’s really hard to have an idea of when we expect everything to be complete, authenticated, and arrive in Ethiopia because so much of it is out of our control. I am nearly finished with our end of the paperwork, but then I turn it over to various government agencies and wait for them to do their job and get it back to me.

We really hope to be considered “active” again by June, but we just don’t know.

That being said, as of January, our wait list number was…..

In February there several referrals but we did not receive an updated wait list number. However: we know that we are very near the top of the list, and at a certain point the number no longer matters due to a number of factors. I don’t know if we have reached that point yet, but it’s an exciting thought. As always, the climate of the adoption world is ever changing, and at any time for any reason referrals could slow or even stop again.

So, all this to say, please be in prayer for our family. Paperwork, meetings with social workers, home visits, education, government agencies, savings, and hoop jumping in general are so incredibly stressful and overwhelming.

I will try to update the blog on a more routine basis like I did before so check back often for updates 🙂

Many people have asked, “how are you doing?” “How is life with baby?” “Have you heard from birth mom?” and tons of other similar questions. Well, here’s the post where I’m going to attempt to answer some of those questions and let you know what’s left.

I am so thankful for the time we had in NY to meet our son’s birth-mom, learn about his bio-family, but above all meet and receive our son! However: being in NY was so hard. Spending your first two weeks as a new family in a hotel room (while you husband has to work during the day) is just not ideal. I am happy that while there Warren’s family was able to visit some, but to just be real honest……I needed my Mom! I wanted her there to share in our joy, to relieve my fears and answer my questions, to be there when I was scared I might lose him and to rejoice when things were going well. I needed someone I could be real with. Isn’t that what all new Moms want? But, that was just not possible, and looking back I’m thankful too that she wasn’t there, but only because it forced Warren and I to step out on faith and trust our instinct and to rely on each other. Plus, my Mom (and Dad) were waiting for us in the driveway just as soon as we pulled in! She had cleaned my house, washed laundry, and did all the last minute things I didn’t have time for before we left.

The first few days home were so nice! We were blessed to have a few meals dropped off, friends who brought us toys and clothes to borrow/have and the beginnings of routine. Being home is just a great balm for the soul, you always rest better and have a better sense of comfort and security.

Now that it’s been over a month, I can say that we are settling-in very well. In the beginning there was a lot of fear. Fear that birth-mom would change her mind, that paperwork would not process, that something-anything could and would inevitably go wrong. But, those fears are diminishing, and now I have totally new (but much more “normal”) Mama fears setting in. There is peace, too, peace that God has this all under control, which helps me to slow down, enjoy Abijah, experience joy, and give thanks for this and my many blessings.

Our little boy is growing SO fast! Sometimes I mourn for the time we didn’t have him, I wish I could have snuggled him as a newborn. But this stage is so fun. Abijah loves to smile and is usually a very happy boy that lights up any room. He is almost center in 50th percentile for everything except length which he is at the 92nd percentile. Because of his height, we have had to move him out of the infant car seat (the one with a handle you can take out of car and carry around) and into a convertible seat. This has posed a few challenges since he can’t sit up yet so he can’t sit in a buggy at the store or high chair in restaurants etc, but I am not wishing him any bigger just for convenience 😉

It’s amazing to me now quickly I fell in love with him. While we are all still learning,I also feel like he has always been a part of us. It’s hard to remember what we did before him and I can’t imagine my life without him.

I know so many people have been praying for us and are excited to meet him, hold him etc. and I love that. But, I also feel like I can be a mean Mama Bear too! There have been a few instances when we were out that strangers have almost lost hands trying to touch him. Last Sunday I put him in the nursery for Sunday School and that was hard. It was the first time I trusted anyone with him other than my parents! Of course I rushed back to get him so he could be with us for church. He handled it much better than me, he was sleeping in a swing when I arrived and wasn’t real thrilled I woke him up

What happens next???

Well we have been assigned a family court judge and Abijah has been assigned a Guardian Ad Litem. This is an independent lawyer who will investigate this case, make sure everything is in order and was completed in ethical manner, and determine if staying with us is in the best interest of Abijah. (Currently, we do not have legal custody of Abijah, that resides with the state of KY until we go to court.)

The lawyer will be here TOMORROW at 1pm! So we will be heading straight back after church to meet her.

Once she makes her determination as to his best interest, she will file her report with the court and we should be issued a court date. This assumes her findings are favorable towards us because I refuse to think about the alternative.

If all goes well – haha funny right – then we should have a court date before the end of October and be fully final by the end of the year.

Please continue to pray for our little family especially as we still have several legal hoops to jump through. We love you all!!

As I’m sure most of you know already, we have clearance to go home!!!!

We have lots of friends and family who are so excited for us and have really come along side us as prayer warriors in our journey. I don’t think we will ever be able to thank you all enough!

So you can’t wait to meet our sweet Abijah Michael? We can’t wait for you to meet him either!

Lexington Area friends: Saturday 21st at 10am at Porter, a sweet friends is hosting a small baby shower. I would love for you to come and meet my precious baby boy. If you think you may want to come please let me or Jessica know asap 🙂

Not in Lexington?

My Mom and some other family are planning a small welcome home party on Saturday 28th in Corbin. Please contact Theresa for more details.

Finally as promised, I am adding some pictures! PLEASE do not share these on Facebook! We still have a few weeks before it is safe to share on social media. However; you may share the blog password with others you trust.

We found out Wednesday that NY has approved us, the packet has made it to KY, and we’re only waiting on KY to do the same before we can bring Little Bit home!

Woohoo!

Please continue to pray everything goes smoothly, KY approves us quickly, birth dad stays out of the picture, birth mom doesn’t change her mind in the next couple weeks, and that we have safe travels home.

Warning: this may be the longest post EVER………also, we are waiting to post a picture and share birthday/name on the internet until we have ICPC approval (explained below). But, both grandparents have pictures and all that info and if you are with them, I am sure they will show it to you 😉

We have said all along that we feel God called us specifically to Ethiopia and even during the long closure/wait said that we were going to trust in God’s will, that if He wants us to move we will move, if we are to stay, we will stay.

As you may recall last month was a great month. We finally began to see movement on the waiting list after a grueling 8+ months. This month’s movement was good too, we are officially #26 on the Ethiopia waiting list.

However! On May 20th we received a call from a family friend that her daughter was considering putting her 3.5 month old son up for adoption and were we interested. Um, YES!!! Because we were contacted directly by the family, we did not have to go through an agency, though several were involved for various services, it made the process as relatively quick and simple as possible (though for the record, NOTHING about this was easy). We called our home study agency and had our home study amended from international to domestic, contacted a local attorney, and made contact with the NY attorney. Lots of paperwork, phone calls, email, prayers, and lots and lots of tears later…we are here.

I will not discuss his birth mother’s situation but will ask that you pray for her. She loves her son so much and though it was extremely difficult for her, she did what she believes is best for her son. Who can possibly judge a mother when that is her motive?

For two weeks we scrambled to get all the paperwork here for birth mom to sign. It seemed that we were hitting road blocks all the time. I really began questioning whether we were supposed to pursue this adoption. Then I would have those moments of complete clarity and peace – and I knew: our son was in NY. Though I still questioned why God would call us to Ethiopia first just to ask us to go on hold to come for this little guy.

So, June 3rd (Tuesday) we were at my parents house in Corbin. I had planned a surprise BBQ for my Mom’s 50th birthday. (She had no idea we were planning a party!) Then, we got the call that the birth mom was going to sign her paperwork on Wed. June 4th which meant we needed to be here. Though I was a little disappointed to miss my Mom’s big day, she was thrilled we were on our way (I was still wrestling with fear).

We left Corbin Tuesday and got almost into Pennsylvania before we stopped for the night. Not that it mattered for me…I hadn’t slept in a few weeks and certainly couldn’t sleep that night. Thankfully, Warren is a much calmer and more rational person under stress that I am and he got some sleep to finish the driving the next day.

We began the morning with a call from the birth mom. She wanted to talk with us before she signed the paperwork. That call went about as well as anyone could expect those types of things to go. So my nerves were calmed a little but the clock and car were just not fast enough for me.

Then, about 12:30 we got a call with what at the time seemed like devastating news…….she only signed half the paper work! Are you kidding me‽ After all this, all the stress, tears, prayers, time, effort, money, conversations….everything….she didn’t sign?

The birth mom had never met us; she was going on faith that her “Mom” had found a perfect family. See, in NY, if you agree to an open adoption, then you are legally obligated to fulfill those terms once the adoption is complete. Once the lawyer explained that in KY, once an adoption is final, any prior agreements are null and void and it’s up to the adoptive parents to keep their word with no legal recourse from biological families…she wanted to be sure that we were going to honor our agreements.

The thought of this meeting terrified me. This is not what I had planned for! I was supposed to hop on a plane, and pick up my child from an orphanage. A child who had no living relatives or if they did, ones who had already relinquished their rights.

What was I supposed to say to this woman? How was I supposed to assure her that her son was going to be loved so much and that we were going to do absolutely everything we could to care for him? How could I assure her that we were going to always tell him how much she loved him and assure her that when he’s ready he can search for her? So we prayed, we prayed that God would give me strength and that He alone would be speaking through me.

So fast forward through a lot more driving and tons and tons of tears and we arrive in Albany, NY. Then we receive the best news of the day…….the baby gets to spend the night!!!! So all Wednesday night we love on and get to know this precious boy, and we pray that all things worked out for the good of all involved.

Fast forward again to Thursday evening. Warren and I packed up the baby to head out to meet birth mom, praying the whole time that it goes well and that we get to leave with baby. There was a very real possibility that she could change her mind and that we would have to hand him over right then.

The meeting went very well, all things considered. We conveyed how much we had already fallen in love with this precious gift. We talked about her life, her choice, the birth father, expectations after things are final, hopes, dreams …just a little of everything really. Toward the middle of the meeting she asked if she could hold him and tell him goodbye. Now this may not seem too significant to you, but just think about that. She was acknowledging that roles were changing and she was relinquishing control to us. Birth mom was able to meet with the lawyer on Friday evening to finish signing the last of the paperwork.

Now that all of her paperwork is complete, there are a few more things that need to happen.

1. the NY attorney will submit us for ICPC approval on Monday. This just means that all of the paperwork will be sent to the NY Dept. of Children’s Services and they will either approve or deny the adoption. If approved they will give us clearance to leave the state of NY and will forward the ICPC on to KY
2. the KY attorney will send our NY approved ICPC to the KY Dept. of Children’s Services who will decide if we will be able to finalize in the state and will give us permission to enter the state.
   It can take up to two weeks for ICPC to clear both states. During that time we are not allowed to leave the state of NY. It also means that birth mom can rescind her consent at  any time and we would have to take him back to her.
3. once we have ICPC approval we can come home and we begin a 20 day waiting period (technically it’s 45 .. but not really, I can explain further to anyone who really cares for this particular detail).
   During this time the birth mom can still change her mind. The difference, though, is that if she changes her mind after we are back in KY with ICPC approval, we all have to go to court where it will then become an issue of custody rather than adoption. Because the birth father is not named, he has to remain out of the picture and unnamed for 90 days. We know that is not a problem if they count from her pregnancy but are unsure of how that works should he show up during this time.
4. after the 20 days post ICPC approval is passed we will be submitted for court sometime within the next 3 months to finalize our adoption in the state of KY. We are really out of the danger zone once we are 20 days post approval

There’s a lot going on and nothing is final until it’s final!

Please be praying with us:

• Peace and protection for birth mom. People are being really ugly to her and it’s making an already difficult situation harder. We really need her to stay firm in her decision. She is also not a Christian and she has a lot of evil influence in her life right now. She did say it was a top priority to find a family who were Christians and would teach baby about God so I know she has to be struggling herself.
• That birth father stays away, I know that sounds harsh but in this situation it truly is what’s best for baby. Even if birth mom changes her mind.
• We receive ICPC approval soon! Partially for the added security of being home should she change her mind. But, also because we are stuck in a hotel room until we can go home. Hotels are cramped, uncomfortable, expensive, and not the best place to bond with your new baby. Not to mention that we have very few items for baby and certainly not many with us here at the hotel and there’s just not space to buy a lot. We just want to go home as a family and be in the comforts of our home.
• Our baby boy. He is only about 15 weeks old so he adapts fairly well. However, he has never really had consistent care from a single caregiver. He is struggling to teach us about him and we are trying hard to bond with and learn him. It’s a great big scary world and he was suddenly just given to people he doesn’t know and doesn’t trust.

And no, we are not leaving the Ethiopia program. We will remain at #26 on the waiting list for at least 6 months – but possibly longer until we are ready to resume. Adoption is the way that God has given us to grow our family, so we are still trusting in the Lord to open doors and light our paths to all the children He has for us.

We have really appreciated the thoughts, wishes, prayers, emails, texts, etc over the past few days – your love and concern have been overwhelmingly helpful and encouraging!

So last month we were told that we would likely now see any more referrals until June/July-ish due to the new requirement that the orphanage try for a minimum of two months to secure a home and funding for a child in country prior to being referred.

Then, all of the sudden, over Easter weekend we learned that our agency gave out three referrals. Apparently, Ethiopia has decided that all of the kids who were “paperwork” ready over the 8 month closure are exempt from this new 2 month wait period. We have no idea how many children that is but are hopeful that they will be matched with forever families soon.

With all of the changes in process over the last month, we have no idea what the new referral pattern will be. Ideally it will be similar to before the closure, but we are trying to guard our hearts from false hope.

So without further ado, our new number is……

Please remember that due to the sensitive nature of adoption and new policies from our agency, for the protection of families the children and the program, please do not share this information or blog password publicly.

For 8 months we have waiting with no referrals coming out of Ethiopia. 8 months of remaining at the exact same spot on the waiting list with no clear end in sight. 8 months of children living in orphanages with little hope of being matched with their forever families any time soon. 8 months of knowing we were still following our calling yet feeling lost and alone. 8 months of friends announcing pregnancies and giving birth and baby showers and having to put a smile on when all I want to do is cry.

Well, after 8 months, we finally have an update. Referrals will begin again within the next 2-3 months!!!!!!!

There has been A LOT going on in country both politically and with adoption corruption. So, in order to protect these children, there have been several changes to the program. Some of those changes came from the U.S. side like with PAIR. Others have come from Ethiopia like additional steps and signatures. The latest – which starts today – is that before a child is eligible for international adoption, the orphanage must first exhaust all options to secure financial support for the child ‘and’ they must advertise the child for a minimum of 2 months within Ethiopia for a domestic adoption. They must prove that international adoption is truly the last – and best – option for the child.

I think most of these changes are great. I try to remember that my greatest gift has to come at a very very high cost and that it is a terrible loss for my child.

So, in this 8 month holding pattern, several children have already been made paper ready. With the new requirement, they will now have the option of finding a family in Ethiopia. If no family is found at that time they will be available for referral. So just 2-3 more months and we should start to see some movement again. I’ve waited this long surely I can hang on just a little longer.

Please keep in prayer:

• that the process will smooth out and regain momentum
• that the children will be cared for and protected
• for our hearts, minds, and that we will be fully funded soon
• for our child, that they will have peace and protection. That in their wait someone is able share the love of Jesus and will plant eternal seeds in them